Some days parenting takes directions you just never see coming. We live on a relatively docile cul de sac in a decent neighborhood. As I mentioned before, we have 4 different Barbie powerwheels vehicles we have gotten at garage sales and things of that sort over the last couple of years, and I recently started upgrading them to go...a bit faster. So our cul de sac is now a tad less docile with the girls and the friends zipping through our yard and such. We have some guidelines that the girls understand about havign these toys. The biggest is that they are not allowed to go down the street outside of the cul de sac.
They have a friend who is a year or so older, but has a longer leash than we give our kids. She comes down pretty often, and the kids really like to play with her, but there's already a bit of girl drama here. She's the "if you won't play with me now, then I won't play with ya'll tomorrow" type. So yesterday, with me watching from the window, I saw Rachel and Haley go outside of the boundary of the cul de sac following their friend to her house...probably 20 housed down. It's not THAT far, and it's not THAT dangerous...but it was breaking the rules. So as they came zipping back down within a minute of leaving, I don't think they expected to find dad standing glaring at them in the middle of the cul de sac. I told them to bring all of their toys out in the garage and that they needed to come inside for a bit. They were devastated...crying, I think more at the fact that their "bossy" friend would be mad at them than anything else. But in we all went.
I let them stew in their rooms for a bit, and then went in to talk. I'm sure you can imagine the drama, they are crying and can hardly control themselves long enough to talk about why they were "in their room." So I asked them. Who broke the rule? Neither was going to go first...I think they were under the impression only one of them was going to get in trouble, so neither wanted to admit their mistake. So I asked them if they knew the rule about how far they could go? They said yes. I asked who broke the rule? Silence. I said. Did I break the rule? They said no. I said to Rachel, did you break the rule. "Yes...but *my friend* was going to ask her mom something..." Haley, did you break the rule? "Yes" (Rachel didn't even know that Haley had tagged along at a distance. It was funny, you could see the relief on her face when she knew she wasn't the only one that messed up.)
So I asked them...who's fault is it that you are in trouble? Haley points at me!!! So I asked again "Did I break the rule?" They said "no." Me, "So whose fault is it?" Finally they say, "Ours." OK, so then I told them this basically.
"Girls I love you more than anything you could possibly imagine. But if I see you break a rule, I have to punish you. If I don't, then I would actually be breaking the rules too. You break a rule, I HAVE TO CORRECT IT. If I don't, then you'll keep doing things that put you in danger. But I'd rather you be mad at me for correcting you, then see you hurt because you were doing something I told you not to do. If you make just one mistake out on the road, and a car hits you, I would lose you forever. I couldn't live with myself if that happened. (I'm holding back tears at this point) I love you Rachel, I love you Haley, but I always have to correct you and I always need to know that you respect the rules that we have in place. The more you do, the more fun you get to have. "
When I'd finished talking to them, I asked them to clean up some areas of the house and let them go back outside. Their bossy friend was out there, but apparently told them that she was going to play with someone else sense they hadn't been out there. Rachel was devastated and came to the door and told me what the girl had said. I looked at her and said, "Well, you know what? You can't let someone else determine when you are going to have fun or not. Make your own fun, and she'll want to play with you." I took Rachel's hand and walked her outside, put her on her Barbie 4 Wheeler, and we played...Run Daddy Over...within view of her bossy friend who was looking at me and the girls laughing and playing, clearly wishing she hadn't just told them she wouldn't play with them. Then, I grabbed my shoes...after stubbing my toe on the pavement...and I crammed myself behind the wheel of their suped up Barbie Beach Patrol Jeep, and our little caravan raced down the street (passed the barrier they'd broken earlier, because daddy was with them) laughing and screaming for the whole world to hear.
I make more mistakes in my life than I care to admit to anyone. And clearly, God gave us some rules to live within, for our own good. And yes, when we break them, if He didn't do anything about it, we'd probably keep doing it, or pushing even further past His lines. What He really desires is that we obey, and when we do...we can live life with Him and live it to the fullest.
John 10:10 A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it in abundance.
wow what a great story and a great way to make a point for us adults thanks and keep it up Jason
Posted by: Lisa | 01/24/2009 at 06:34 PM